Chadwick Cockroach

Meet Chadwick Scrubbington, a cockroach who showers four times a day, flosses between every leg, and carries a pocket-sized lint roller "just in case." His exoskeleton? Buffed. His antennae? Conditioned. His reputation? Tragically pre-installed. Chadwick has handed out 412 business cards reading "Surprisingly Sanitary—Ask Me Anything!" and received exactly zero callbacks. He once threw a housewarming party and the only guest was a confused moth who left early.

Height: 10 inches / 25 cm

Weight: 3.4 oz / 96 g

Fabric: PP Cotton

Stuffing: PP Cotton